Hey guys, guess what? It's coming up on 5 years since I was in college! What's that you say? I look too young and fabulous to be in my upper 20s? I know. That's what I tell myself every morning while I'm brushing my teeth.
I don't know if you've been on a little website called Facebook lately, but there seems to be a bit of gloating going on. I feel like my newsfeed is jam-packed with grad school announcements and wedding photos (and we all know the babies are coming). If you're into the whole overachieving at life thing, that's cool. But can I just say, there are some things that I'm really proud of from the past 5 years that nobody seems to be talking about. Here's my list of achievements as a recent grad. If you've tackled any of these and lived to see the other side, allow me to be the first to say: I applaud you.
1.) You took an unpaid internship, made yourself indispensable, and
clawed your way into a job.
I did this with a publishing job, but my favorite example is actually my brother Jason. He was on a team of interns for a television studio in New York. One of the producers called all of the interns in for a meeting. They needed some footage of empty city streets, and had arranged for someone to ride around on a garbage truck at 5 in the morning. Did anybody want to do it? All of the interns shuffled their feet. Except for Jason. He stepped forward, raised his hand, and said, "I want to do it. I want to ride the garbage truck." A few months later, when the internship ended, guess who landed himself a job. Jason, you're awesome. Also, that's going to be a great scene in the movie of your life. (Cut to Jason, bearded and bespectacled, hanging off a garbage truck with one elbow, camera in hand, grinning in the grey morning light. For soundtrack, I'm thinking something along the lines of "Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard.")
2.) You decided
not to go to medical school, law school, or business school.
If medicine, law, or business are things that you're actually passionate about and have always dreamed of doing since you were 6 years old, that's awesome, and all the more power to you. I'm sure you're working very hard, and I sincerely believe you deserve all of the cheerleading that your family and friends are doing for you. (You took the GMAT! You got into Harvard! You graduated! You got your residency! Woo!) Personally, if I had become a management consultant, I know my 6-year-old self would be really disappointed. She would think it was way cooler to make cookbooks. On my better days, I still tend to agree with her.
3.) You got laid off, you dusted yourself off, and
you got another job.
Getting laid off last year was the hardest time I've ever gone through in my life. Let me amend that by saying I fully recognize that means I've led a very privileged life up until now. I was born with the kind of brain that excels at standardized testing, I had the good fortune to get into incredible schools, and I have a family that could afford them. But can I just say, getting laid off is a bitch. There are many not-fun things that I won't enumerate, but honestly, the worst was the tailspin of self doubt. I would panic at cocktail parties that someone would ask, "What do you do?" It had never seemed like such an existential question before. And while there are many artful answers: "I'm freelancing!" or "I'm an editor!" or "I'm between jobs at the moment!" I couldn't stomach any of them. In my heart of hearts, I knew them and felt them to be a sham. I would have to say, "Nothing."
I do nothing. I felt like I had to get a job immediately, just to prove to everyone that this was some kind of horrible mistake, that I wasn't really meant to be this worthless person. Of course I did get another job and
got back on the horse. Also, my friend Karen and I now have a really great screenplay idea for a rom com about self-loathing unemployed girls. So there's always that.
4.) You pay your own bills and you bought your own car.
This is a hard one, and I know we're not all there yet. So many of my friends and fellow graduates are still living, at least partially, off a parent-funded credit card. Seriously, no judgment. The economy is the pits, and things don't always go as we planned, hoped, or dreamed. But can I just say, I bought myself a car, and it may be a
hot freaking mess, but you know what my favorite part about it is?
I paid for it myself.
5.) You made a real-life friend
outside of your college network.
I remember the first friend I made who wasn't a Stanford kid (or a work friend, who don't really count). It was really exciting. It was my friend Carlie from my French class, and we're still friends, and she's super cool. When we exchanged phone numbers and last names and everything, I remember thinking,
oh my God, this is really happening. I texted like ten of my Stanford friends, and was like, "Guys, I made a non-Stanford friend!" And they were all like, "That's awesome!!"
6.) You moved in with your boyfriend or girlfriend.
If your mom is anything like mine, she might not have been thrilled about this. (My mom's a really polite and diplomatic person, so it wasn't a big deal, but I knew.) But going on 5 years now, Stephen is still the best roommate I've ever had. If you're making the same decision, and no one's said it yet, I want to tell you: That's wonderful. I hope you're kind to each other, I hope you still make time for your own friends and interests, and I hope you have a blast. Incidentally, I also hope that when people start asking you how soon you're getting married, you tell them to take a long walk off a short dock.
7.) You learned something new, not because you had to, but just because you love it.
My French class is the best part of my week. No contest. I have no good reason for spending my time, money, and effort on it, and I love it so very, very much.
What have you achieved since graduation that you're quietly, privately proud of?
