Explaining an Astrophysics PhD to a Seven-Year-Old

I do a bit of babysitting. This involves larges batches of chocolate chip cookies and regular dramatic readings of children's stories. It's a pretty good deal for all involved.

The kids I sit for have discovered that I have a boyfriend--gasp!--and that my boyfriend is a scientist. A number of questions have arisen.

"What is on the inside of your umbrella?"

A map of the Cosmic Microwave Background.

"Is the sun really just a medium-sized star?"

My expert says it's certainly not one of the biggest.

"Are you just like Penny on The Big Bang Theory?"

Kind of? But smarter.

And now I give to you a conversation between myself and a seven-year-old. I was unpacking a set of birthday cupcakes. Having run out of containers, I resorted to a certain lunch box.

"Whose Star Trek lunch box is that?"

"Stephen's."

"Why does Stephen have a lunch box?"

"Because he packs his lunch every day."

"Why does he need to pack his lunch?"

"So he can take it to school."

"Stephen goes to school?"

"Yes."

"How old is Stephen?"

"28."

Long pause. "You can go to school when you're 28?!"

"You can if you're a PhD."

I think I blew his mind. It was like watching a supernova. Actually, I don't really know what a supernova is. I just asked Stephen for an example of an astrophysical explosion, because I felt I needed a metaphor. I'm an English major, and we can get away with that sort of thing.